Moving :(

So it's not the process of moving, the finding of the new house, or getting used to new surroundings that make me have an anxiety attack... It's the not being around family like we have for every house we lived in since moving out of our nests.  My hubby and I both still lived with our moms when we both got our own first house, and experience we had each other for.  And in each of the 3 houses we have lived in since saying good bye to our mommies, we lived next door (literally) to family.  But this move, that has to happen no matter what because this house and property are a VERY bad match for my family even if we move down the street, I don't think we will be able to move next door, down the street or even in the same town as family.  In combination with our individual needs in a home and our budget for said future home, this is quickly becoming a nightmare.

I found homes that the inside is PERFECT!!! but the outside (I.E. yard) is not kid friendly.  Or houses and property that are perfect but WAY too expensive, OR don't allow us to bring our 2 kitties and 1 pom-chi.  And there have even been a couple that were perfect but too far away from a reasonable distance to my hubby's work.  I don't want to settle again.  Not for the 4th time in a row.  I know that may sound bad, though I don't mean it to.  We did thoroughly enjoy being next to family, but the properties/managers were horrible.  I'm tired of living in unfinished houses, and /or not having the time/resources to finish them myself.  I'm tired of not being able to allow my kids outside, losing hundreds of dollars because I have no where to store anything (just like Christmas stuff and whatnot), and this is going to sound weird but I tired of the stupid annoying ass stray cats!!  I know that sounds bad, trust me... but the last 2 houses I've lived in the one lady next door had over 60 feral cats living on her property that she was supposed to be a sanctuary for and fix them and find them homes and stuff, but they just bred and bred until they died, and would beat up my animals.  And this house... She's really sweet, but this cat that showed up out of nowhere sits there and will not leave you alone AT ALL while your outside.  Like "massages" you know?  But it's not really massaging, it's just like clawing and I have scratches all over my hands, arms, and legs because I can't get her to understand I don't want to pet her!!  

Wow... This turned into a rant.. my bad...

ANYWAY, I actually started to cry this morning because the thought of moving away from the family we live next door to right now.  It's depressing and I am going to miss them sooo much!!  But it's time to take a deep breath, Pray for the future, and Hope everything turns around for the better.  Wish us luck!